Is this you? I asked that question of myself for years.
I know you. You have layers on your body that you desperately want to shed. You are successful in so many places in your life. You have won awards, raised great humans, face the day head-on, meet deadlines, smile through hard things, and juggle the needs of others.
You think that you have to prove your worth to everyone that you meet. You feel as though you have to explain why you haven’t lost the weight and then prove that you are still strong and competent and worthy of listening to.
Your self-confidence shrinks every morning because of this routine: (I know this is what it sounds like and feels like- because I have lived it too!
You look in the mirror, you are wrapped in a towel, your hair is wet, I hear what you are saying to yourself. It’s mean. You see the folds, the thick arms, the dimples on the back of your thighs. Your hair is cold on your neck, and you tilt your head to the side trying to find the beauty in the mirror. YOU can’t see it; your loved ones do, but you don’t. “You are ugly, you are not good enough, others are better at everything,” you tell yourself.
You pledge each morning that today is the day that you are finally going to be successful at losing weight. You are not really sure how you will do this, but today is the day. You will start with the plan of not eating. That will work. With fewer calories in, you will beat the scale, you tell yourself.
You step into the cold closet. Your clothes already feel tight and you haven’t even started to get dressed. You just know they will be. You can already feel it. Your closet is a place you don’t want to be in. You already feel defeated, grey, bland, why try. You are going to really avoid all the foods you enjoy because that is what got you here, you tell yourself.
You are dressed. The waist is tight, the pants pull across your zipper, your skirt is already bunching up. You really want to hide, maybe just go back to bed. This has been a hard way to start another day. Now you have to go and be something that you do not feel. You have to go give joy, love, show confidence, peace, strength, and poise to the world. The world demands that you do it, but it is painful because you feel none of those things. Not after what just happened in your head while you were getting dressed.
I am talking to people who are worried that this will not get to the end.
I have a heart for you. I weighed 226 pounds before I was pregnant. In that season of disordered eating, I was using food as a companion and for comfort. The uncomfortable aspects of my life were covered up by Ben & Jerry and Pillsbury cookie dough. The ice cream brothers and the Pillsbury Doughboy helped me to numb the parts of life that were hard to face. I didn’t know that by covering the pain I was also covering feeling too good. I was in a sugar numb (or food coma) Did you ever pause long enough to give contemplation to the meaning of being in a coma? Think about what it truly means to be in a state of coma, now realize that with food. If you use food to numb, you would numb the good feelings.
Each morning, like you, I pledged willpower of starvation and being good. I would fight hunger the first half of the day, eating just the apple (because it was healthy and kept people from asking), sometimes I was able to keep it up for 2-3 days, but I always lost steam and willpower. The saving phrase came next, I’ll start tomorrow (and the pledge to be perfect starting tomorrow, so I may as well eat everything I have missed these past days). This cycle was exhausting. I eventually quit trying.
I quit trying until someone asked me THE QUESTION: “You say you would die for your kids, but would you change for them?”
That question made me willing to admit that my way wasn’t working. I needed to learn what to do to find food peace and get help to quiet to voice that was causing the anxiety, shame, and food drama in my head. I knew that if I didn’t do this, and soon, my daughters were designed to grow up and have the same voices speaking death to them each morning.
Back to your voice: would you allow someone to talk (out loud) to you that way in front of your kids or loved ones? NO! For the same reason, you should not be listening to those words, even if they are in your head and only you hear them. That is not how you are supposed to live. You are meant to be happy.
CarpenterOne80 was born out of this. It exists to clear up food confusion so that you can win at losing weight, feel confident, and live life without regrets.
They are simple (perhaps not obvious…YET) principals that will end food drama, balance blood sugar, allow weight loss without hunger, denial, and deprivation. You will lose weight, feel good, not be a slave to the gym, be able to dine out, and enjoy cocktails while looking and feeling our very best.
What else can you do? Be your own expert and educate yourself. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
If you want to save time, follow a program based in science, lose more weight and see real, permanent results, don’t do it alone. Look into SOS or one of the digital courses we offer.
There is a better way. This is a simple system that came from following this golden rule:
“Decide what you need most in this world, then go out and do that.”
This is your time to answer the question, “Will I be on a diet on the day I die?” With CarpenterOne80, your answer can be ‘NO’.
Originally posted 2020-01-19 02:30:28.
